Whoever said sex is easy sure hasn’t tried to manoeuvre around their partner mid-oral. The kind of instructions you have to spell out, not just while going down on them but in general as well, are something you don’t want to revisit when you’re sober. Trust us–it’s best left as sex talk. Especially when you’re the one who is sending your partner or fuckboi or one-night stand to pleasure town, there are a lot of awkward thoughts that’ll circle around your head–while you’re giving head. Although, most of us have managed to keep them in a dark chamber inside our mind, had them we’ve all.
There is less to think about when it comes to sex considering both of you are engaged in the act. With a blow job, you literally have the person staring down at you over your shoulders. Hopefully not, but you get the drift of how weird it might be for you–at least in your head. Plus, the whole concept of hygiene can really mess with people’s heads.
These thoughts were particularly easy to list out because I guess we’ve all have these low-key fears when going down on someone.
1. What if it stinks the whole time?
2. Damn, this hair is thicker than the Amazon forest (quite literally)!
3. I think I cannot breathe.
4. What if he farts on my face?
5. I hope he’s enjoying this because what is even the point if he isn’t?
6. What if he cums before I can stop it?
7. How deep can I go without gagging?
8. Wow, my neck is really cramping up.
9. We are going to have sex after this, aren’t we?
10. What if he doesn’t cum even after all this effort?
11. Am I even doing it right?
12. *Insert mundane thoughts here, like, Did I switch off the geyser? Which nail paint should I buy next?*
13. Am I the best he’s ever had?
14. What is he thinking about at this exact moment?
15. Does this count as an act of kindness or do I start over again?
16. Can we please keep a towel nearby, just in case?
17. Damn, I need to workout more often.
18. Can we please stop? I am done.
