You come home, make some tea, sit down in your armchair, and all around there’s silence. Everyone decides for themselves whether that’s loneliness or freedom. However, I for one would advocate the latter, and here’s why…
There’s a common misconception in today’s society that being alone is inherently dreadful. It’s no wonder we’re all glued to our smartphones even in the loo, so that even though we may be physically alone, we avoid any possibility of beginning to feel it. That is because we tend to correlate that with loneliness – highly problematic! In today’s fast paced world, the need to be constantly “connected” has seemed to have increased drastically; unintentionally spreading the message like wildfire, that if we ditch that plan and choose to stay in by ourselves over the weekend, or if we don’t answer the 393 texts that are unread in our Whatsapp groups, there’s something wrong with us.
“Hey… is everything okay?” “Why are you becoming so antisocial?” “Stop being a recluse!” – The world begins the bombarding, and most of us, succumb to peer pressure and end up saying yes to plans that we actually dread like the plague. Why? Well, at the top of my head, because we’re all sceptical to admit that sometimes, we’d rather be alone than be surrounded by a bunch of people. And because sometimes, just being in our own company is more fulfilling than anything that any other person apart from our self, has to offer.
So here’s the thing – Loneliness is a negative state, marked by a sense of isolation… where you feel like there’s something missing. It’s painful, it’s traumatic, and it can break you. Being alone, on the other hand, is the state of being singular, without wanting to change that. It’s a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. It’s something you choose -loneliness is imposed on you by others. And if you dive deep enough, you’re sure to discover that this solitude can be rather desirable.
Just as we recognize the state of being lonely as a real thing that eats away at some people, it’s important for us to understand that some people simply like to be alone, and there’s absolutely no connection between the two. So I urge you – if you know someone like that, who seems to be content on their own, don’t make them feel like they’re wrong, or that they should feel lonely. Instead, think about it this way – maybe their need of social interaction is simply at a lower point than yours, or maybe to them, “me time” holds more importance than proving to the world that they are “okay.” And that’s absolutely okay.
