Motherhood has always been a glorified role. In India, mothers are put on a pedestal as the epitome of selfless womanhood. She is the one who sacrifices everything for her children, holds the family together and is seen as the decision maker. In fact, we’ve got the iconic line from the movie Deewar, where Sashi Kapoor retorts to Amitabh Bachchan, “Mere Paas Maa Hai.” However, this often comes at the cost of the mother’s mental health, and it is high time we end that.
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The invisible load of motherhood
An Oxfam survey from 2019 reveals that Indian women spend 312 minutes-a-day doing housework and childcare as compared to Indian men who spend just a mere 29 minutes. The woman is expected to have food on the table (not to mention healthy food) have the children fed and also tend to other members of the family. Because of the unequal distribution of labour, mothers aren’t allowed to catch a break or focus on their mental health.
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Mums are not superhumans
Self care for mums has been reduced to taking hot showers and having a hot cup of chai, which might be a great short term remedy, but doesn’t do much to alleviate the stresses of motherhood. Women need to seek help when it comes to dealing with their relationships, and also being a mother. Women are supposed to be “naturals” at childcare which means that they are under intense scrutiny while raising children and that’s an added weight on most moms’ minds.
Postpartum depression
Postpartum depression is extremely common among mothers, and often dismissed and swept under the rug. The toll of it is felt on the rearing of children and also, on the marriage.
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Working mothers have another challenge
For the working mothers, there’s little help at hand when it comes to rejoining work after giving birth. Offices are rarely equipped with pumping rooms, or creche services. The lack of flexible work hours and work pressure often result in women dropping out of the workforce. This severely impacts their mental health, as they no longer contribute to the household and are no more independent. The pandemic has accelerated this, with women unable to cope with both childcare, housework and full-time jobs. Linkedin’s Workforce Confidence Index revealed over two in five (44%) working female parents reported working outside of normal business hours to provide child care. The findings also touched base on the emotional well-being of India’s working women, as 47% report they are experiencing more stress or anxiety due to the pandemic.
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