No one knows self-destruction more than a girl who has mastered the art of breaking her own damn heart. Contrary to popular belief, having your heart broken can indeed be an inside job. Humans are complex creatures, which is why some of us might be victims of our own doing, without having an inkling of it.
Have you ever considered how we lead ourselves on? We overthink everything–every look, every touch, every text. Sometimes, we create scenarios in our minds and imagine ourselves with people who might not even know we exist, leave alone have an interest in us. We take fights too far, we push boundaries, and chase people away–only to see if they care enough to break through our walls, and refuse to leave. We stay put in relationships that we know for a fact, are nothing but loveless projects, in which we’re trying to save the other person, but drowning ourselves. We’re good to people who treat us like crap and vicious to those who love us the most. It’s true: many of us are our own nemesis.
Mismanaged expectations
They say that insanity is doing the same thing again and again, and expecting different results. Well, are we insane for repeating patterns, choosing the type of people who are bound to hurt us – the emotionally unavailable guy, the “bad boy” who’s nothing but a bad person in reality, or the needy one who drains us of all the positive energy we have.
We’re a generation that takes pride in claiming that we’re “always busy,” with no time left to spare for our friends and lovers. We believe that caring isn’t cool, but somehow expect others to care for us – forgetting that they too are “cool kids” who couldn’t give a damn. In a world where we’re too afraid to love or be loved, how does a heart steer clear from getting broken?
Reflection and introspection
You break your own heart by not giving the good ones a chance because they show you all that you deserve when you’ve convinced yourself that you’re undeserving. You break your own heart by not admitting that you need love or want a companion. You break your own heart by looking at yourself in the mirror with the most critical eyes, failing to see how beautiful you are to another person. You break your own heart by letting the love of your life walk out, without trying to stop him. You break your own heart by waiting too long, for a love that will be way too little. You break your own heart by spending sunsets with people who will be gone by sunrise.
The answers lies within
You see how it can be? Sometimes we’re angry and blame others for not wanting us, not noticing that the problem really lies in the fact that we don’t want ourselves enough. We blame others for pain that is self-inflicted and look for answers in others, forgetting to look within.
To the girls who break their own hearts–sometimes, with all that we go through in life, we are likely to arrive at a point where we’re disillusioned by love. But before you give up on what is really the strongest force in the world, look within. Reconnect with that old friend, who is lost inside you and is desperate to be found. Don’t think that once you’re down in the dumps, you’ll be staying there forever. Do what you need to do to lift yourself out of the well before it becomes your new norm.
If love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to – trust yourself. You’ve had the power all along.
