A little over three years into my career, I have switched three jobs, changed industries once, and worked in an MNC, a start-up, and a big Indian company. And my big takeaway is this hard-to-swallow pill — no workplace is perfect.
Not to be the harbinger of pessimism, but it is true. No matter how many unicorns are slapped on the walls of your office, or how many pool tables the break room has, there will always be something that will be troublesome and upsetting because the only truth in this world is that the capitalist system is rotten and broken, and the only way to find true joy while working is to focus on what gets your creative juices flowing.
That being said, it is a different matter altogether when a workplace is downright toxic. It is not uncommon for a job to alleviate your anxiety issues so much that it starts interfering with your normal life, or to cause you mental and emotional distress. And leaving a job without a plan in a market that is a rollercoaster which only goes down can be the scariest thing one can do. So when is it actually okay to leave a job?
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If your job is causing you extreme emotional distress, to the point that you’re fantasizing about sending across your resignation email, or musing whether getting fired would actually make you happy, then there is no escaping the fact that your job is making you miserable. But the first and the most logical step would be to communicate.
Tell your manager (and document it on email)
Don’t hesitate, tell your manager that you have a problem because, surprise! Feedback is supposed to work both ways. Communicate to your manager everything that is unreasonably expected from you and how you feel that your well-being and growth are not being prioritized at your workplace. You’re literally a human resource.
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The best case scenario is that they will acknowledge their lapses in judgement and try to make constructive changes in the workplace. The worst is that they will dismiss you and tell you that you are being unreasonable, which would also tell you a lot about the company and the kind of people you work for (read: monsters).
Change your perspective
No, I’m not going to tell you to focus on the positive or the fact that you get paid peanuts the first of every month because sometimes the positives are so bleak that it is not worth holding on to.
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Stop thinking about why you hate your job, and start thinking about what would be a job that you love. The kind of culture and workplace that would accept your ideals and be sensitive to your need for a balance between work and life. And then start actively working towards that goal. Upskill in your free time if needed. Hunt for jobs actively, but mindfully, instead of applying to everything that comes your way.
What you need is an exit strategy, and not an emotionally driven impulsive decision; and the trust that your brilliance will follow you where you go. Your place of work does not define you, it is very much the other way around.
The signs for leaving are always right in your face
Do your interactions with your coworkers suggest that they’re miserable as well? Are people constantly belittled and made to feel like they’re stupid? Do you constantly doubt yourself when talking to your manager or coworkers? Do you constantly worry about not doing enough at work?
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Here’s the thing, a good manager will always be aware of what situation they’re putting you in. If you feel that you’re being gaslit or bullied at work, then the problem is not you or your work ethic, but the fact that those in places of authority feel that they can get away with bad behaviour in the name of assertion of authority or negative motivation without considering how it affects you and your growth.
The bottom line is that you should always, always put your health above a job, especially if you have enough savings or financial backing to help you stay afloat for a few months till you find a better suited opportunity for yourself.
If you feel you can hold on to the job for a couple more months without inflicting some serious damage to your mental health, then that is great. But if not, ask yourself these questions:
#1 Is your job affecting your health? (mental or physical)
#2 Is it ruining your self esteem?
#3 Do you have enough savings to survive a few months without a job?
If the answer to any of these questions is a yes (if you’re reading till here, chances are that at least two are), then my friend, it is time to take a leap of faith. Trust yourself and the fact that you have a skill set that will be valuable to other places that are not your company, and quit. Gracefully, and happily, your services are awaited elsewhere.
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