It’s never easy to cope with the loss of a loved one, and it’s even more difficult to understand the complexities of the pain and grief that follows. No matter what you do, suppressing the feelings and keeping things bottled up is not the best idea. There is no rule book for something like this, as it’s extremely personal. We’re here to help so we asked mental health experts how one can navigate through loss and grief.
Grieving is a process
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Dr. Kamna Chibber, HoD, Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Fortis Healthcare, says: “It is important to understand that coping and grieving a loss is a process. Every person has their own way of going through their experience of grieving the lost individual and there is no specific time frame within the bereavement process.”
Therefore, it’s important to understand that there is no set timeline or checklist of ways to grieve a loss of someone you loved and lost.
Don’t say things like “They are in a better place.”
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As per Dr Ann Philipose, Psychologist & Couples Therapist: “Don’t tell someone or yourself things like, they are in a better place, at least they didn’t suffer too much, how long will you hold on and that you need to move on. None of this is helpful and they are reminders of how the other does not understand your loss.”
Rituals help us process the loss
Dr Chibber recommends creating a ritual to remember the person:“Typically our rituals allow us to be able to keep processing the loss of a person and the presence of others around helps in coping with the sense of loss.”
Rely on your support systems
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People who have lost their loved ones in the times of Covid-19 have not been able to do many rituals which is not the best way to say goodbye to a loved one and that’s why it’s very important to reach out to your support systems. Dr Chibber adds: “In these times it is very important to keep relying on support systems in a manner that is comfortable for the person to speak, share and discuss what has happened, their emotional and cognitive experiences as well as the struggles that exist.”
As per Dr Philipose take time and create space for grieving: “Create a safe space for them to weep, share memories and even wallow in silence. It is our own helplessness that wants us to say something hopeful.”
Avoid isolation and take your time
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Dr Chibber, advises to be patient with yourself: “It is important to give yourself the time and space to be able to integrate this sense of loss and come to terms with it. It is helpful to remember that there is no rush to try and do the practical things associated with the loss of someone immediately and taking some time is ok as is the reliance on others around. But most importantly it is crucial to try and avoid isolating yourself as far as possible.”
Dr Philipose suggests: “Take your time. Acceptance is a commonly used word, but when something is so senseless in its suddenness, that also is not easy. Little moments to pick up the call from a concerned friend you have been avoiding. Share memories of that person. Allow people to take care of you, especially your physical health.”
Seek a professional’s help
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These are some tips and advice that can help with the loss of a loved one and it’s important to keep these in mind. If you or someone you know is having a tough time, then it’s also suggested to seek the help of a professional if you feel ready to do that.
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