Human beings love to complain. Admit it, we do it all the time. When we were kids, we whined about homework and assignments; now as working professionals, we complain about our bosses and our work schedule. It’s a natural instinct to do so.
Research shows that nothing bonds people like a common dislike. Yep. You read that right. Human beings are wired to bond faster over negative things. You can see why bigots have so much support–they are filled with hate and hate apparently bonds people.
But, all that negativity is draining. If you’re a chronic complainer, you can actually start getting depressed from whining all day. Nothing will seem to be going right. You’ll be locked in loathing. So, how do you fix this problem?
1. What is a complaint?
Be very clear with what you call a complaint. Saying something like “Heavy traffic today” is not a complaint. It’s an observation. Saying, “Heavy traffic today. This is why this job sucks” is most definitely a complaint. Once you are consciously aware of what constitutes a complaint, you will immediately notice it the moment you start complaining.
2. Observe yourself
Now that you have figured out what counts as a complaint, observe yourself. How many times do you complain in an hour? How many times in a day? You will be surprised by much complaining you do on a daily basis. Awareness is key. Once you are aware of your behaviour patterns, it will be that much easier to fix it.
3. Attach something positive
You can make a complaint and then attach a positive note to it to neutralise the meaning. Using the example above, say something like, “Heavy traffic today but this job makes it worth it.” Count your blessings. It will reduce the negativity in your life and immediately make things lighter.
4. Stay away from chronic complainers
You know who I am talking about. We all have that one family member, friend, and/or colleague who survives on complaining. The moment they walk in, they are all doom and gloom. They are also called “energy vampires”, they suck the good energy out of you.
You are the company you keep, so make sure that the people who surround you are positive. It’s contagious. You will start feeling positive yourself.
While complaining does let you blow off steam, it should not be an everyday phenomenon. That is not conducive towards living a happy life.
