Borderline personality disorder (BPD) isn’t just about unstable emotions, there’s a lot more to it. It’s a condition where a person finds difficulty in channeling and managing emotions, resulting in intense responses to situations.
Someone who suffers from this disorder might feel upset about their relationships and also have doubts about their self image. The person’s daily emotions, goals, even likes and dislikes may change frequently in ways that feel frustrating. We got in touch with Dr Sonal Anand, Psychiatrist, Wockhardt Hospital, Mumbai to help you understand how it affects relationships.
Borderline personality disorder is a painful cycle
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Dr Anand explains, “The person does not know what to expect and all these rollercoaster moments make him/her go through personal conflicts and confusion. When going through overwhelming emotions, the person is not able to think clearly or stay grounded. He/she may use inappropriate language, say hurtful things or act out in dangerous or inappropriate ways that may make [them] feel guilty or ashamed afterwards. It can become a painful cycle.”
Good or bad, emotions are extreme
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People with this disorder see things and situations in two extremes—either good or bad, black or white. There are no middle paths. Their feelings towards people and opinions about them also keep changing, leading to mistrust and unstable relationships.
Dr Anand elaborates, “Partners/spouses of such people might find cohabitation difficult with such changes. Fear of abandonment is something that worries the person suffering from borderline personality disorder. A history of intense and unstable relationships with friends, family and lovers is often seen swinging from extreme love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation). Anger control could become a serious issue for the person and concerning for surrounding people as well.”
People suffering from BPD have major trust issues
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People with BPD may face impulse control problems. Reckless driving, unnecessary spending sprees, sexual misadventures, binge eating, self harm, etc., could also be a part of the risk-taking behaviour.
“It must be noted that these behaviours could be a part of another serious mental illness as well. Trust issues are something which most people with borderline personality disorder face. This could be more if they have faced trust-breaking situations in the past. Feelings of emptiness, inability to deal with the present situation, or feeling as if seeing things from outside one’s body or dissociative feelings are also seen. It’s not necessary that all these symptoms are seen in one person,” Dr Anand added.
For a deeper understanding of the subject, check out stand up comedians Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson’s podcast ‘Guys We F****d’ podcast on Luminary. In the episode ‘Do You Bring Up The Borderline?’, they speak with comedian and mental health advocate Amy Cardinale about Borderline Personality Disorder and how it affects relationships.
Seek professional help
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A visit to a professional mental health worker can help clear up the picture. The first few sessions typically include questions about personal history, a physical examination, family history and psychological testing, if required.
“Comorbid conditions like depression and bipolar disorder can be ruled out. The treatment usually recommended is psychotherapy done by a trained professional. DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) or CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) are usually employed. These therapies may take some time to show effects. It is necessary to be patient. Medications might help in some cases with depression or self harm behaviour. Family members also might need counseling and learn how to deal with the situations. Novel treatments have helped many to lead better lives,” Dr Anand concludes.
Seeking out professional help is the best way to manage any mental health condition. If you’re feeling depressed or as if your emotions are going out of control, please seek out a psychiatrist or psychotherapist.
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