“Okay, here it is, your choice… it’s simple, her or me, and I’m sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.” – Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy
This is probably the most romantic confession I’ve heard. And Derek did choose her and that’s what made their love story a success on screen. But what if he didn’t? After all, not all love stories have a happy ending, right?
I had a friend who proclaimed he loved me. Okay, there were more than one but this one was different. He knew it was me and only me and his confidence would just drive me crazy. I hated his antics but I cannot deny that I was attracted to him. We shared a different kind of chemistry. The type that could bring down a house. I think it was just too good to be true or was it the fact that he didn’t match my idea of perfect at all, can’t decide which, but it never let me accept his proposal. He wanted to marry me and I wanted to be a free bird, enjoy life. I had too much to lose at that time. I was barely 18 had my studies to complete, had to get a job, experience living on my own and what not.
So I thought of the best way out. I suggested we be friends. Friends who would hang out together and understand each other better and if we were meant to be then we would eventually! Looked like the perfect proposition to get it all done my way. So time passed and we continued to be the best of friends without any ulterior motive, at least from my end. I got busy with college and life moved on. But one day I discovered that he was getting engaged. It hurt me a little but I couldn’t understand why. Maybe because we were the best of friends for a really long time and he didn’t even tell me about this development in his life or maybe because I felt cheated. Didn’t he say it would be me? But then, did we make any promises?
No, we didn’t and it was all my idea so I couldn’t even complain. I was fine with it after all I didn’t even think about him until this day. But he continued to tell me that he loved me and that’s probably what irked me even more. I found this extremely annoying. For a really long time I couldn’t understand his audacity to be engaged to someone and still come up to me to proclaim his love. Were men really that stupid or they probably thought women were?
There was a time somewhere in between when I’d told him that I would be with him and all he had to do is break up with the girl he was going to marry. I knew he’d probably chicken out and give me the most bizarre excuses so I was prepared for it. So when he actually did that, I wasn’t surprised but just extremely sad. That day I had lost all respect for my so-called childhood friend. I was hurt and agitated and upset for a while. But then I realised why it was all a good thing. Imagine what I’d do with a spineless man like him, if I’d ever said yes.
I did fuss over it for a few days and swore off men for quite long thereafter but in retrospect I am extremely happy that he didn’t choose me.
I am a firm believer of love stories and happily ever afters. But I never want to be with a man who doesn’t have the courage to stand by his words. Today, I only wish happiness for him and I hear that he’s doing pretty well in his life. While I hope he continues to flourish in his life, I can never forgive him for being the loser that he turned out to be but I will always be thankful. Thank you for not choosing me because I deserve better.
