From: A Place Of Inadequacy
Date: A Point In Time When I Feel “Too Fat”
Hi you,
We haven’t met, but I know what you go through, because I go through it every day, too. Yes, I’m talking about the practice of looking in the mirror, seeing yourself, and rejecting your own body with disgust. I’m talking about your hate, and mine, for our love handles, our stomach rolls, our knobby knees, our flat chests, our thick thighs, and our stubby fingers and toes. I’m talking about our inability to face our reflections, in all their asymmetrical, imperfect glory. We all have that problem, and we need to talk about it.
See, the thing is, you hate your body, and I hate mine. I hate the way my bra digs into my back fat and creates lumps that make me reject the idea of ever wearing a bodycon dress. But you, a stranger, see me in the changing room and tell me I look hot. So, I buy the dress. All I need is that one voice of positivity. Then, you take my place in front of the trial room mirror, put on the same dress, and then hate yourself for how you just can’t get your chest to betray even a hint of your cleavage. If I were there to see how you pull yourself down for your perceived “imperfection,” I’d definitely tell you that you look hot, so that you could also buy the dress. You also need that voice of positivity, and that is what this letter is for– sharing that positivity.
You see, you might have cried in front of the mirror for not having the perfect body, but I look at you in the metro, see how beautiful and “perfect” you look, and then go home to look in the mirror myself, and think about why I don’t have a body as perfect as yours. You might hate yourself for being too tall and you might hate your glowing dusky skin. But to me, a short, pale girl, your long legs, and dark complexion are sheer beauty.
Why? It’s because we, as women, have been conditioned by society, through sneaky capitalist advertising geared at female consumers, to hate ourselves. It benefits everyone but us, if we strive to be different from what we are. We spend more and more money to change our appearances that way. So, before either of us continue the self-deprecation, let us pause to praise each other. Let us allow us to get a little comfortable in the skin we are stuck with forever.
Let us eat our food without guilt, and let us exercise without the pressure of expecting it to change our entire body into something that resembles a model’s. Let us enjoy making love with the lights on, without reeling under anxiety about what is floppy and flabby. Let us allow our lovers to really love us, and worship the things we hate about ourselves.
If we pour an ocean of love into the bodies which have been termed imperfect, inadequate, and unfit for decades, there is a good chance we will not need that voice of encouragement to go ahead and buy that dress and wear it proudly, belly fat, chubby arms and all.
Love,
The Girl in the changing room
