Don’t try to hide it, we know you love people-watching just as much as we do, and there’s nothing really wrong with it right? Unless you’re a creepy stalker or unnecessarily mean, then we’ve got a problem. But back to the funny stuff, we know that if you’re a gym regular, there’s a host of characters that you have undoubtedly seen who make your torturous workout slightly better…or worse, in some cases. Here are some of our favourites!
The Cloud…or the Chicken Drumstick
This one doesn’t warrant much explanation – you know the guy! The one who looks like if you poke him with a pin all the air will come whooshing out like a burst balloon. Yeah, we kind of hate him…plus we’re also sure he’s making use of some un-nameable substances for his “enviable” physique.
The Hottie
This could be a guy or a girl, most likely a wannabe model or T.V. actor who comes to the gym with an equally wannabe-looking trainer. Dressed in all their finery, him with fingerless gloves and an all Nike or Adidas wardrobe and her in a slinky sports bra with skin-tight yoga pants, they proceed to distract every other gym member just with their presence.
The Salman Khan from No Entry
While thankfully not in denim cut-offs (cause who the eff could work out like that), but still equally inappropriate and uncomfortable, this uncle gives us major heebie jeebies with his upper thigh-grazing shorter-than-short shorts. You better hope he doesn’t do lunges.
The Social Butterfly Aunty
This svelte aunty comes to the gym in her Mercedes with a super hunky trainer and ends up working out for like five minutes of her duration there. The rest of the time is spent name-dropping of her high-society friends and how much money she or her businessman husband makes. We’ve memorised her gym schedule to avoid any further infuriating encounters.
The Couple
Making us feel lonely since…well, since we started going to the gym, this couple mean BINNESS! They’re perfectly in tune with each other and their routines and function as each others’ trainers and spotters, with an occasional cute moment or two thrown in as well. Yeah as much as we hate going to the gym, this is definitely #relationshipgoals.
The Grunter
Don’t mistake your gym for an overtly intense tennis match; it’s just that one man or woman who accentuates their each rep with a loud “uunngghhhh”, making you uncomfortable and dying to laugh at the same time. Earphones are a good idea to prevent further “unngghhh”-induced distraction.
The Douchey McDoucherson
The tank-top wearer, selfie-taker, lifts-shirt up-and-looks-in-the-mirror-at-his-abs, talks to the everyone in the gym like a long-lost brother guy…or more aptly, pretty much every guy who goes to the gym. This one really, really gets our blood boiling sometimes…
The Blue Cheese
Umm, this one may be slightly mean but unfortunately, there’s always a guy who smells, well quite unpleasant at the gym. And if you’re unlucky enough, he’s wearing a ganji and you are met with an inexplicable smell that starts to make your eyes water. #sorrysmellyguy
