Being a plus-size or curvy woman in India comes with a lot of baggage. The immense scrutiny and lack of boundaries that people exhibit are unreal, as are the unsolicited comments.
Everyone is a fashion expert and empathy is out of the window for if one doesn’t fit into a box, ideally a society-approved version, feelings rarely matter. On the other hand, only a few understand how difficult it is to actually shop when sizes on the shop floor are limited and smirks aplenty.
We asked four curvy women to share their thoughts on said advice and what brands are getting entirely wrong, even today. From marriage entering the chat (obviously) to a lot of emotional atyachaar, here’s what they had to say.
1. “Now you will have no problem finding a dulha.”
Image Credits: Pexels
“I never fit into the conventional body type and, as one can imagine, there were a lot of insecurities that came with it, especially when I was growing up. I always wore oversized T-shirts from the men’s section, partly because those were the easiest to find and also because if I went for something remotely fitted, it got me a million comments on how it was not my style.
Then, in my early 20s, I lost a ton of weight and, all of a sudden, it felt like everyone perceived me as someone new altogether. Distant relatives who had earlier never glanced towards me were now telling me how pretty and ‘slim’ I looked when I met them at some family gathering, or how I could now wear shorts and skirts. Someone went as far as ‘Now you will have no problem finding a dulha.’
It was disorienting, to say the least. It felt as if being fat were a crime in these people’s eyes. It took some time and therapy to deal with these unsolicited comments. Now, when someone tries to comment on my weight loss, gain or anything even remotely related to my body, I don’t respond. It’s like I never heard it in the first place. Needless to say, it’s really awkward for them but that’s what they deserve for their random comment.”
-Anonymous, 30, Bengaluru
Freelance artist and writer
2. “Brands need to do their homework.”
Image Credits: Pexels
“It usually goes like: ‘Your style is way too ethnic. At work, there should be variety.’ As if I am a Baskin Robbins’ menu. Of course, people don’t get it that whenever I’ve tried to get office wear, it has been the most difficult. I’ve always felt that brands make stuff for a certain body type. It’s as if curvy women don’t deserve to dress well to work. The reason that I’ve got an aversion to shopping is because I never find the right fit or size for myself.
My biggest disappointment has been lingerie. All the bigger sizes are so boring and badly designed. I mean, they serve the purpose of comfort, but that doesn’t mean that there can’t be an aesthetic involved! Brands need to please do their homework, know that the majority of their target audience is NOT ‘perfectly shaped’ and be more inclusive.”
Sakshi, 31, Gurgaon
Category manager, E-commerce
3. “You look fat in that skirt.”
Image Credits: Pexels
“As someone with body issues and in a toxic relationship, I got unsolicited fashion advice almost every other week. We were both fashion students, but it seemed like only one of us was. ‘You should avoid skinny jeans’ quickly went to ‘You look fat in that skirt.’ When you are already dealing with stuff, the last thing you expect is your partner to share negative comments based on your size.
Called out for this fatphobia, he would come up with some manipulative answer that made me doubt my own thoughts. This went on for a rough two years until I decided enough was enough and if someone really wanted to be with me, they would have to see me for who I was.
I am in a much better place now but shopping continues to be a struggle. Most brands only portray themselves as ‘inclusive’ because they want to cash in on the body positivity movement. The salespeople can be spiteful for no reason when they see people like me. There have been so many times when I have resorted to online shopping or simply getting my outfits tailored because going to a store takes a toll on my emotional well-being. It blows my mind because it literally takes nothing to be kind. It’s up to brands to hold sensitivity training sessions, be more aware and just come through.”
-Anonymous, 27, New Delhi
Fashion consultant
4. “How about some actual clothes that fit?”
Image Credits: Pexels
“I am in a place where I no longer care about other people’s opinions. After years of ‘You should lose weight… you will look so pretty’ and ‘That dress doesn’t work for you,’ I have realised that there are many people who will always be toxic, no matter what. If it’s not my weight, it will be some other thing. As for clothing brands, they really need to pull their socks up and stop with the tokenism. How about some actual clothes that fit and aren’t a struggle to find?”
Preeti, 29, Pune
Engineer
Lead & Social Image Credits: Dharma Productions
