Dinner Party Etiquette Rulebook: Serving

If you love entertaining, dinner parties are commonplace. You can probably go through the drill even in your sleep. But for those of you who aren’t well-versed with dinner parties, there are some etiquette rules you simply must adhere to. So join us for the first part of the Dinner Party Etiquette Rulebook (Serving) that will help you breeze through a dinner with even the most fussy guests.

Dinner etiquette varies depending on whether it is a sit-down dinner or a buffet dinner; but serving at both would follow the same rules.

First things first

• Have the table prepared. The candles should be lit and water glasses filled.
• If possible have the first course on the plates before guests arrive at the table (but not if it is a hot dish).
• If people linger with their drinks, suggest that they bring them to the dinner table.
• Lead the way to dinner.

At the table

• Food and drinks are usually served from the left and cleared from the right but this varies in different regions of the world.
• Never rush your guests. Allow for a break between courses especially before dessert. Obviously drinks are served before any food orders are taken.
• If the table has wine or champagne, remember to periodically top up people’s glasses. However there is a fine line between being intrusive and neglecting your guests. Avoid letting your guest pour their own drinks unless they have expressed this.
• A serving spoon and a large fork are put on most dishes, or the spoon alone is used if the dish is not hard to serve. With the spoon underneath, the fork is held with the prongs turned down to hold and balance the portion when both utensils are used.

Of second servings

• Serving dishes, after being passed, can be left on the serving table on a warming tray or taken to the kitchen and kept warm on the stove.
• When you see that guests are ready for another portion, get up, get the serving bowl and pass it around incase no help is around.
• From the time the table is set until it is cleared for dessert, a service plate should remain at every place.

After dinner

• Plates are only cleared when everyone on the table has finished.
• To make sure everyone has finished, ask the table if they have finished followed by ‘Was everything OK?’ Although, this is fine, try to ask an open question so you receive feedback rather than a yes or no.
• After-dinner coffee may be served either at the dining table or in another room to which the diners have moved.
• The hostess pours the coffee right at the dining room table or from a tray that has been carried to the living room or den.

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