A younger female cousin, at the age of 11, once pointed to my breasts and asked me, “How does it feel to have those?” Her curiosity and frankness is typical of a growing new generation with exposure to many snippets of information on sex thanks to the media today, but with no access to solid facts to cement their knowledge of sex. And I write this at the risk of sounding like my grandmother.
While past generations were part excited and part scared of sex, today’s pre-pubescent tweens and adolescents have just enough information to be excited about the development of their bodies and what it means in terms of experimenting with sex. Which is fine, as long as they have the means to back it up with a good grounding on safe sex. However, that’s not always the case.
If abortion statistics for this year are anything to go by, there has been a significant increase in abortions among girls under the age of 15. A Times of India story reports an alarming 67 per cent spike in abortions among teenage girls below the age of 15 in Mumbai for the year 2014-15.
The data, collated by the BMC from all licensed Medical Termination of Pregnancy (MTP) centres in the city, shows that in 2013-14 around 111 girls below the age of 15 had undergone an abortion. The number has risen to 185 in 2014-15. Even for the age-bracket of 15-19, there has been a 47% jump when compared with the previous year.
“The numbers are shocking,” Dr Suchitra Pandit, gynaecologist and former president of Federation of Obstetric and Gynaecological Societies of India told TOI. “What is worrisome is these girls are just out of school. On one hand, we have more and more young girls walking up to doctors and asking for contraceptives, and on the other we have these statistics,” she added. Pandit believes the reasons vary from curiosity to exploitation to plain ignorance about safe sex.
If we are to take these statistics seriously, and we must, then we need to not only ensure implementation of sex education, but also change the way we approach it. Presently, the few handful of schools which claim to teach sex education, confine it to a biology class on reproduction with the aid of a video. The message given out by educationists here is clear – ‘This is all you need to know, and don’t ever approach me for any questions in this regard and oh, yes, the keyword is ABSTINENCE.’
Now we can all safely agree that despite our mushrooming population, taboo and abstinence are the two key words associated with sex that we have all grown up with. While we all claim that it conforms to the Indian culture, clearly it is not helping in this regard.
Now we can all cry ‘spoilt culture’ and ‘aping the west’ until the sun sets upon us, while the abortions and teen pregnancies continue to rise. Or we could all take a sensible line, starting from our homes, and discuss sex openly. Because wouldn’t you prefer that a child got a sensible take on sex from parents and teachers, no matter how awkward it is for them rather than a garbled version of it from his/her peers?
Since cries of abstinence are not going to stop teens from experimenting when they want to, it’s better to acknowledge that needs and desires exist and tell them matter-of-factly that this is what will happen if you give into your desires and these are the situations you will face. So the choice is yours. Also while we are at it, teaching them the correct use of contraceptives wouldn’t be too out of place either.
As for me, I just wish I had responded less awkwardly when my young cousin asked me that question.
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