A typical day at work; you have loads to do but all you want to do is stalk friends on Facebook and indulge in your coffee addiction. Don’t worry, you are not alone. We’ve all been there, done that and most of the time, got caught by the boss. Well, this month make a resolution. Waste time but smartly! Welcome to the world of the Pretend-O-Holic. Roughly translated it means: Being a pro at wasting time while you fool your boss that you are hard at work. Take a look at these 10 looking busy hacks that won’t get you caught.
Be on time: It’s all about being seen when it comes to office rules. Being the first person in (and then casually working up that fact into a random conversation with the boss) and leaving last means that half the battle is already won. It helps to always maintain a serious ‘busy’ expression when anyone looks your way.
Keep your screen private: Position your monitor in such a way that it is far away from the boss’ eye and only you can see its contents. If that seems difficult – especially if you are in an open way – keep it tilted in a way that you have just enough time to close what you are doing and continue working, when you see someone approaching you.
Get the posture right: When people (read: the boss) glance at your way, you need to give the impression of being busy. Plug in headphones, surround yourself with multiple books, extra notepads and some worksheets and sit up straight. This just gives the impression that you are swamped with work when you really are just drooling over Fawad Khan’s latest pictures.
Say the right things: Work BFF calling you to chit chat about the cutie on the 5th floor? The trick to answering all of these random calls and not being called out starts with the perfect hello. Practise the perfect low pitched but worried hello and then immediately get off your chair and look around with a worried expression. Once you do this, you are free to walk to the canteen (or the 5th floor) and indulge. What you have left behind is an impression that you have had to answer a super urgent call.
Don’t be everyone’s friend: Make it a practice to ask very serious work-related questions when people come near your cubicle. This will ensure that people avoid dropping by to chit chat, thus giving you time to play games without being disturbed with work.
Keep up an act: If asked to take a coffee or smoke break, be sure to maintain a sad, worried face so people know that you already have a lot of work.
Have an emergency backup: If a colleague who you can’t trust or your boss comes calling and you are busy uploading your weekend pictures on social media, have emergency distracting techniques ready. The best thing to do is to drop something on the floor – preferably coffee – and then get busy cleaning that up. This ensures maximum havoc and results in your boss forgetting the purpose of her visit.
Use the right technology: Browse through the net and look up a list of applications that can quickly restore work documents should someone sneak up on you. Here’s a quick fix till you find the right apps. Open a couple of programs that you use daily. Make sure that all are visible on your screen, then take a screen shot using the ‘Print Screen’ button. Go to MS Paint, paste the image and then set the image as your desktop background. Another trick is to take a screen shot, the next time you are installing any software. Use that as your screen saver and feel free to have coffee breaks. Colleagues and bosses will think that you are just waiting for the installation to finish.
Carry a backup prop: If you are planning to be away from your work desk for long, carry a document or a notepad to give the impression that you were in fact focusing on work. Take a folder/envelope and fill it with spare cash and your car keys and quickly grab that on your way out. This gives the impression that you are stepping out for a work meeting rather than idle coffee chit chat with your work spouse.
Read online: If you are a book worm, life just got easier. There are many books available in PDF format, just download and read away. Just remember to occasionally use the keyboard or open up a drawer to look like you really are hard at work.
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