Imagine your boss walking in, all dressed up to the nines, an expensive jacket and a tie contrasting with his shirt , looking dapper and suddenly you see that he is wearing No Pants and you can see his yellow polka dotted boxers sticking out from beneath his jacket. Are you guffawing already?
This Sunday saw something similar happening in many cities around the world that included Bangalore too as several commuters paraded their bare thighs on the subway ride to work in celebration of No Pants Day. This first began in 2002, when seven New Yorkers decided to wander the subway leaving their pants at home. No specific reason, no protest, they just did it because they wanted to do it, just to celebrate silliness. Sounds so refreshing!
What began as a silly stunt has spread over the world and has become an annual event. About 60 cities have participated in celebrating the No Pants Day across the nation since then including London, Hong Kong and even Johannesburg. But those are countries where such stunts are laughed on and are taken in a light spirit. If this were to happen in Mumbai, it would really shake the very core of our …ahem…morals. In a city like Mumbai where the Shiv Sena and the MNS prowl around looking for couples holding hands, a stroll out in the open without pants seems scandalous.
On the other hand, with so many homeless people lying scantily clad on the pavements and doing their morning jobs in plain sight, technically everyday is a No Pants Day. It might even garner lesser ire than the Kiss of Love campaign. 😛
Bangalore has been doing it for over 3 years now, but with a highly modest version where briefs have been replaced by boxers for men and panties by skirts for women. The only thing remotely scandalous here is un-waxed legs.
But Mumbai is not Bangalore and even if we manage to avoid arrest for indecent exposure in public places, chaos is bound to reign supreme.
At this point though, we would like to re-iterate that rather useful tip that Millimetre gave Farhan (R.Madhavan) in one of the early scenes of 3 Idiots, Apun tumko tip deta hai…Aaj underwear bina hole wali pehanna!”
We may see some unprecedented rush at some of Mumbai’s malls like Palladium and R-City, as participants of No Pants Day rush to stock up on good, clean underwear. Naturally, underwear brands would do a roaring trade on this day. But no compromises here. After all, yeh andar ki baat hai.
All the same, we expect that local train rides to work would take on nightmarish proportions, for the men at least, in full view of hairy thighs, pale flesh and dirty granny panties. It would be doubly awkward for them extricate their bare legs from amidst the pelvic grinding, life squeezing crowd during rush hour in local trains. All the homophobia in men would scream red alert! Body checking in Mumbai metro stations will be super awkward for both commuters and security personnel as they ..ahem…give you a pat down.
A lot of men might name it the Freedom of Movement day also and be so very happy with roaming around sans pants. Conversations in the cafetaria will naturally centre around undies with comparisons like “uski undie, meri undie se better kaise’, or “wow! that looks comfortable.”
We also hope that Ranveer Singh who is sporting enough to take up any challenge will represent the B-town on this and grab eyeballs with some designer underwear. We wouldn’t say no to an accompanying dance routine either.
Naturally, political parties will go in a tizzy, with the saffron brigade blaming it on ‘western influences’ upon the society. MNS and Shiv Sena would play the tough moral police with much slapping, ear-cuffing and threats to call the parents of people trying to pull the No Pants trick.
We suggest though, that you pant-up by the end of the day though to avoid a far more worse, sweaty, grimy commute back in evening rush hour.
Image courtesy:BCCL
More On >> Balancing Act
