I must say, the second day of the new year, 2015, began on a delightful note, where Rajeshwar Singh, the Sangh parivar’s loudest rabble rouser and firebrand was sacked for going overboard with his re-conversion antics with the ghar-wapasi programme. It is rumoured that PM Modi was none too pleased with his brazen declarations that he wouldn’t rest while there was a single non-Hindu in India. The government feels this may have stolen the limelight from its ‘inclusive’ programs and development agenda.
Obviously, it is being optimistic to the point of being foolish to even hope that all these reconversion programs will be shelved altogether, but we still hope, and pray. But while Singh’s outrageous declarations brought forth a lot of ire from the public via social media and from media organisations, we have all been guilty of sitting silent on other kinds of religious conversions that happen around us all the time, possibly to even people we know.
I am, of course, talking about the kind of issues that women face in inter-religious marriages. Let’s face it. We, as a country, are still not entirely comfortable with the idea and if and when an inter-religious marriage does occur, it is with much reluctance on part of the families. Obviously, both spouses face much flak in such a case, but in a culture where the girl marries into the boy’s family and lives and adopts their practices, it’s far more tough for women.
Even in cases where women are not expected to convert to their spouse’s religion, they still do end up practicing it, sometimes against their will. These may be minor issues like festivals and daily rituals or even issues like names of children, what religion will the children follow..etc.
Dyuti Krishnan, a hospitality professional based out of Australia thought she had it made when her parents finally agreed to her marriage with her boyfriend of ten years, Gregory Richard, an Anglican faith follower. However, her troubles had only just begun. “Conversion was never an issue while we were dating,” she said. “In fact, both of us agreed to stick to our own religions and marry as it is. But once families agreed and matters progressed to putting down a date for the wedding, the issue of conversion came up. I had to put my foot down, but the agreement was that the children would be raised as Christians. I would have ideally liked for the children to imbue the best of both religions, instead all things Hindu are relegated to a cupboard at home where I practise my religion in private. I am not allowed to initiate my children into Hindu festivals or teach them to chant some basic shloks and mantras. I do attend church service with them though.”
Diya Agarwal, a Marvadi banking professional based in Mumbai on the other hand was only too happy for her children to grow up to the Parsi life and culture. “We had decided that the children should learn both religions but follow only one religion and I am completely fine with them being raised as Parsis,” she said. “Only, as a non-Parsi, I am never allowed into the fire temples or be a part of some important Parsi rituals. So I got really upset when I was told that I would not be allowed to be a part of my son’s Navjot (thread ceremony) or witness it. Instead, my sister-in-law oversaw the entire ceremony. I decided to go out of town around the time of the ceremony instead.”
Issues like these are all too common and we often do not give it a second thought because most people are of the opinion that it is the woman’s business since she chose to be married to that person. In other words, ‘You make your bed, then only you lie down upon it’. But nobody has the right to tell others how to live their lives or insist that only a certain religion be followed. It’s high time ‘ghar wapasi‘ becomes what the words actually mean – Coming home to family without anybody judging you or telling you what to do. Only then will religion become irrelevant.
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