The culture of body shaming is deeply ingrained in Indian society. Families are supposed to be a safe haven from bullying and mean comments, but that is not true for many people in India. Girls often have to deal with body shaming or fat shaming comments while growing up, and that can leave a mark.
Some people got together on the internet to discuss the mean comments that their families directed towards them when they were children, and how it impacted their lives.
1. Commenting on others
Image Credit: iStock
“I don’t think it was always intentional, but the small remarks definitely had an effect. She [family member] would always comment on overweight people we saw in public. I think she made more comments about others than she did about me but that made me compare myself to whoever she commented on. The constant nagging to exercise and lose weight also didn’t help.”
2. Size shouldn’t matter
Image Credit: iStock
“I was body shamed by my dad’s side of the family because I was too small. I was 5’0″ and 41 kgs. I was petite and liked how I looked, but every time I went to my paternal grandparents’ home, they told me I was too skinny and should eat more.
They always said I never ate enough even though I would eat two or three plates per meal, and eat a lot throughout the day. They always made up these crazy stories about how my mom never fed me, how I probably was so thin because I never ate, how I was probably anorexic or bulimic. It was horrible and very hurtful.”
3. Comments leave scars
Image Credit: iStock
“My father would tell me to skip meals, not eat certain things, and make me watch music videos so that I could see how a ‘real woman’ should look like. He would call me fat and tell me to do something about ‘it’, it being my horrible looks. The thing is, I have never even been overweight.
He justified everything by being a doctor and knowing better. It messed up my self image. I still identify as fat/overweight/obese even though everyone tells me I’m not.”
4. Don’t shame anyone
Image Credit: iStock
“It only took my mom one time to mention my weight as a child to find out that was a bad idea. I stopped eating for two days. She never really mentioned it again after that, but she’d always make remarks about her own body. This made me self-conscious because I look like her.”
5. Families are never happy, huh?
Image Credit: iStock
“My dad always made comments about how I must not be eating enough, how I was too skinny and always tried talking to me about anorexia. When I turned 18, I started gaining weight, and guess what my dad keeps talking about now? How I’ve gained so much weight and need to start working out. It really hurts me. I feel like I’m never going to be good enough.”
6. Not everyone needs to be ‘fixed’
Image Credit: iStock
“I’m always being body shamed by my family, but it’s often so subtle! Nothing outright verbally abusive or anything like that, but just the fact that weight, food, weight loss, diets were always a topic of discussion in my family, and something to be scrutinized. I don’t think there has ever been a time in my life when I haven’t felt that there was something wrong with the way I looked, or that my weight and how I looked was something that always needed to be fixed.”
Indian families have to take a step ahead and stop commenting on young girls’ bodies, because it only results in body image issues, lack of confidence, and a feeling of worthlessness. Mean words can leave a lifelong mark, especially if they come from someone you love. It is important for all of us to remember that commenting on other people’s bodies is just not okay.
Social and lead image credit: Yash Raj Films, Dharma Productions
