“Man up”—a phrase so common, it almost seems harmless. Until you know it isn’t. On International Men’s Day, one of India’s biggest digital content creators, Bhuvan Bam, explains why #DontManUp needs to be the new normal in a two-minute long video.
This stirring monologue will not only make you pause and think, but will also urge you to be part of a cultural overhaul that encourages men to show their emotions, express themselves and seek help if need be. Watch Bhuvan smash the ‘sakht launda’ trope with this touching poem.
Video credit: MensXP
The struggles of being a man in modern times
In the short clip, made in collaboration with MensXP, Bhuvan takes a dig at toxic masculinity, which is nothing but misogyny repackaged.
“Dard to hame bhi hota hai, dukhi ho to mard bhi rota hai, haan hamare liye kehna zara mushkil hota hai. Bachpan me seekha hai na ‘man up’, ‘mard ban’, ‘ladka hoke rota hai?’” Bhauvan recites in the video. He goes on to question why men who choose to express themselves are not seen as ‘sakht launda’.
Bhuvan then states an obvious fact—mental health issues and depression are not gender-specific: “Bachpan me chot lagne par to roye the hum bhi… to aaj kyu aansu chupa liye hain?”
“Ab jab koi hamse pooche ‘Kaise ho, theek ho? Udaas lagte ho’, to muskura ke, we won’t just shut up. For once, let’s decide to not man up,” suggests Bhuvan.
Expressing emotions and being gentle is not a ‘weakness’
Such is society’s definition of manhood that expressing emotions, compassion, concern and everything that helps form human connections is termed ‘frivolous’ and ‘feminine’. From their foundational years, boys are told “men don’t cry”. Years of conditioning builds a culture that makes it difficult for men to open up, leading to severe mental health issues among them.
Image credit: MensXP
In high-income countries, three times as many men as women die by suicide, according to a World Health Organization (WHO) report from 2018.
Despite many such staggering figures, the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), USA, reported in 2019 that men are less likely than women to have received formal mental health support.
Image credit: MensXP
Should we stop saying ‘man up’?
So what good is the idea of an ‘alpha male’, who won’t act ‘weak’ even in times of extreme inner turmoil, doing to our society? These age-old ideas of gender need not dictate how men should behave.
‘Man up’ is harmful and is one of the reasons why men put off seeking professional help. It’s not just about telling men to step up and get to work, but also implies that only a man is capable of doing these things. And that’s exactly why you need to remind everyone around you: #DontManUp.
Lead image credit: MensXP
