Before you @me, I understand that I am in a privileged position. Not many people can have an honest conversation with their parents about who they’re dating, let alone speaking about moving in together with them without getting married. I am so grateful for it. However, it would be wrong here to completely discard my own contribution towards it. For years I have openly communicated with my parents about my own life– be it about relationships or failing a test. Yes, I’ve been shit-scared too: how will they react? Will they disown me? Will they throw me out of the house? It’s only now at 26 that our relationship is truly transparent! If you’ve always maintained honesty from your side since you were 11 years old, there’s a lesser chance of them flipping out if you come back home with your boyfriend.
Anyhow, moving on to living with my partner, there are a few big decisions that still scare me. After dating for nearly 3 years with one of them being long-distance, here are the reasons that are influencing my decision.
1. Moving away from parents
When marriage is a decision I’m already willing to make, moving away before that to live with my partner seems like a disservice to whatever my parents have done for me. Don’t get me wrong, there are many reasons why someone would be willing to do the same, however, I am not one of them. The guilt of it would be too much.
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2. Taking full responsibility of everyday
Perhaps till you actually do it, there’s a tendency to believe that your inner child is alive, somewhere inside. Getting into a live-in means doing the big stuff –making real, adult decisions and with your partner, that too. There’s no running away if you’re committing to it.
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3. The magic of marriage
Since I do want to marry my boyfriend, I feel that the novelty of living together is going to be best experienced as a married couple. You know, like buying the furniture together or setting up dinner together–truly making a home of our own. With living-in, it would seem like that novelty is lost when we get married and move in together anyway.
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4. The fear of becoming ‘roommates’
While things are still hot and spicy amongst us, I feel living-in together is only going to burn that bridge faster. After reading several articles on the internet about others who’ve experienced the live-in life, this fear seems to get even more prominent. Having your partner around all the time, especially with the new work-from-home lifestyle seems like it would accelerate the process of losing ‘the spark’. It might be completely irrational but it’s a legitimate fear for me.
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5. The whole process not being ‘enough’
Perhaps I am a product of my expectations but I am sure that what has been peddled as ‘living-in’ with your partner in movies and sitcoms is far, far from what reality is going to be like. I would not enjoy being stuck in a situation for the sake of my decision rather than actually wanting to be there. You feel me?
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Lead image credit: Yash Raj Films
