As part of a few relationship surveys I’ve conducted on women’s sexual desires in their mid-life, I’ve asked wedded women if marriage has impacted their sex lives. The response is usually a version of: “We don’t do it as often for sure… but it’s okay, I guess that’s normal.” My findings were that at least six out of ten women in their 40s admitted to having barely any sex at all—including those who were supposedly the type to lick maple syrup off each other’s bellies.
Image credit: Netflix
Are women in their 40s really not having sex? Let’s hear it from the horses’ mouth:
1. “I don’t know about others but I am 40 and my husband is 43 and our sex life is still great. In fact, there is effort from both sides to keep it alive and it does help in making the bond stronger and keeping a couple connected. Marriage does not come with the guarantee that sex drives will decrease… actually it does not come with any guarantee at all.” – Anonymous, Pune
Image credit: Madhur Bhandarkar Films
2. “Sex does take a backseat post-marriage. Both men and women tend to seek more emotional comfort and support in each other. I’m not saying that sex is not important, it is… but frequency does not really matter to both. At least that’s true for me and my husband.” – Anonymous, Pune
3. “The 40s are no age to stop having sex. Physical contact and intimacy is a basic need for both husbands and wives. It’s important because it not only keeps the spark alive but also comforts one emotionally. You feel loved, valued, connected.” – Anonymous, Mumbai
4. “To be very honest, my husband and I do not have sex as much as we used to. We have two young kids (a girl and boy) who insist on sleeping with us every night and following us around all day. It’s not completely non-existent but one’s sex life after having kids does take a hit. Some couples may be prioritising it and hence will be on the same page… both having a sexual drive. That’s very rare.” – Anonymous, Mumbai
Image credit: Netflix
5. “What is sex? I have forgotten the concept. I have too many things to worry about and balance out… I will check with my husband if he still remembers what sex is.” – Anonymous, Pune
6. “Yes, of course. At 40, men and women know what they want in the bedroom and that is great. In fact, at this age couples should have shed their inhibitions and entered a new level of their sex lives.” – Anonymous, Delhi
7. “People who claim to be having a highly active sex life in their mid 40s are either lying or don’t have kids.” – Anonymous, Lucknow
8. “I miss having great sex with my husband. Don’t remind me of the good times!” – Anonymous, Mumbai
Lead Image credit: Dharma Productions and Netlflix
