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Letter To My Mother Who Was Often The Sole Woman Doctor On India’s Borders

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Dear Ma,

We live in a country that currently stands divided along the lines of ideology, politics and religion. While I was struggling to navigate these spaces, you helped me figure out some very important things about faith, self-expression, and self-worth. 

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One of the first things I remember you saying to me is, “Work is my religion,” when I asked you an inane question about God. That simple phrase has impacted how I present myself everyday. The recesses of memory are strange. Often they hold phrases and images that are not quite connected to each other. When you find a memory that has an image connected to a phrase, you finally find a full memory. This is my first full memory of you. 

As a child, you lived apart from us for so long, working as a doctor in the Armed Forces at the war-torn borders. You wrote me letters on scraps of paper and told me stories about living in tents and crawling through enemy lines. At that time, these were just exciting bedtime tales for me. Now I realise the grit and determination you must have had. 

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You have always given your all to work, and often I have chided you, saying that you need not always give a 100% to your profession. Even as I say it, I know you will always do your best, because that is the person you are, and that is the person that I hope I will become one day. 

You worked as the only woman at the warfront in an all-male unit. You travelled the length and breadth of the country to come meet me on your meagre holidays. You raised me even as you raised the bar for me. You’ve worked your way to getting your PhD in your 50s. You are doing your utmost even right now during the Covid-19 crisis to save lives. You inspire me everyday to become a better person and push myself just a little further. 

Now, whenever I am in a dilemma, I can say to myself, ‘My work is my religion’ and keep walking forwards, even if the path is full of ups and downs. You’ve helped me find light in a dark and confusing world, and all I need to do whenever I am feeling low is follow through to the end of the tunnel. 

Ma, you taught me how to find happiness in my work and give my all to whatever I do. You taught me to rely on myself and not others for happiness. You taught me how to be myself.

You taught me how to find salvation in work, and I cannot thank you enough for that. 

Happy Mother’s Day, Ma. 

As we continue our battle against COVID-19, let’s take a moment to celebrate and express our love for our pillars of strength, our refuge in this storm—our mothers! This Mother’s Day, iDiva’s writers pen special tributes to their mothers and the beautifully complex relationship that exists between a mother and her daughter. Here’s wishing a very happy Mother’s Day to all!

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