In India, much of the parenting is left to the mother, and the grandmother to a certain extent. After delivery, a woman is sent to the mother’s house to recuperate. The role of the father is the one who is busy doling out mithai, and comes frequently to check on his little human and wife. However, thankfully, little by little, that notion is changing and dads are becoming more hands on when it comes to bringing up their child.
My husband Peter and I discussed kids when we were dating, and while many people touch base on how many they want to have and when, it’s important to talk about parenting styles. I have seen my parents split duties between them and so did Peter. So we knew exactly the kind of parents we wanted to be when we decided to have children and three years into our marriage, we welcomed our son.
The first year of parenthood was a blur, filled with sleepless nights, burping and smelly diaper changes. My husband became an expert burper, took joy in giving our baby a bath and took me out on weekends to help me feel like my old self again.
However, it was only when my child became a toddler did I really appreciate how amazing my husband was at being a dad. He did daycare runs when I was filing urgent stories, cleaned up vomit (that’s something I can’t really do) and his greatest joy is taking our son to the park so I can get a few hours to decompress, watch my favourite shows or even work. He’s actively participated in playschool PTAs and has taken up to teaching our son basketball and cricket. As a diehard football fan, I’m not pleased about that aspect.
It isn’t all smooth sailing, we do have our share of conflicts and butting heads but I do realize that I’m super lucky that my husband might be more hands-on than other dads. There are some who sneer at the thought of changing a diaper, some who are only up for taking their kids on long drives and some who are very happy dictating to their wives how long they should breastfeed and how to breastfeed.
So this Father’s Day, I’m thanking my husband for being the best dad to my toddler, for being supportive, for always saying ‘we will figure things out’ when I’m unsure, to having my back for those commenting on my parenting styles.
Happy father’s day to all the other dads out there!
Photo credit: All images via Karen Alfonso
