Past the age of 17, I have always been outside of Kolkata. The fact that the city seemed stifling might’ve been the reason it started but somewhere along the way, it became a norm to stay outside.
I’ve lived in Delhi for 8 long years–the times I’ve gone back home were restricted to the few days we would get off–never for as long as more than 3 weeks. This last December, I finally made a trip back home for 2 months and here are a few familial observations I made!
The home context
My parents are both above the age of 60–which makes it quite difficult to deal with them. Not that they are senile as both are up and about most of the time but there are topics and conversations that they have no clue about—like going out randomly or having people over, eating at particular times, etc.
Despite the 300 daily fights, here are the things I learned!
1. Your parents have your well-being in mind
No matter how off that sounds while fighting, it’s important to keep this at the back of your head. Especially when you’re making up after that fight—prolonging it thinking that they never understand you is kind of a misnomer!
2. Your parents are getting old
We’re growing up and so are they. It’s important to realize that they won’t be around for forever which puts a lot of things in place!
3. At some point you need to keep them out
When you have a certain lifestyle living away, there is no need to make them understand every bit of it. We’re not saying keep it all hidden under lock and key but there are elements of your life–like drinking with friends, sleepovers–which you can just zone them out of! It’s easier doing it on your own than having their acceptance.
4. Zoning out is a great exercise if you want your peace
Inevitable desi moms will come to you with their innumerable problems, it’s easier to have the blank face on standby at all times. There’s going to be an even bigger fight if you retaliate–even if your insides are boiling. Practising how to focus on other things is a handy tip while dealing with Indian parents!
5. They will understand if you really try
They do not need to be modern, well-travelled and groomed to understand you–they love you so they will eventually anyway. So getting heartbroken about things that you haven’t been able to tell them does not necessarily mean it’ll stay that way forever.
6. They just want you to be happy
Anyone else with the same life motto? No, na? Then be happy and they’ll be that way forever and that’s the kind of positivity everyone wants in their life!
Picture Courtesy: Netflix ( Lust Stories), giphy
