I was single for a while last year and those few months opened my eyes to the big void that can be singledom. Don’t get me wrong, it’s also extremely empowering and gives your independence a boost, but it does make you feel left out when your paired-up friends all make plans and you’re the only one left out.
There have been countless lists made about what you should not say to your single friends–“Are you seeing anyone? Have you tried Bumble? You should meet my cousin, he’s single” are just some of the things single people are tired of hearing. It’s not like single people’s only thought is how they can snag themselves a boyfriend or girlfriend. Many are single simply because they want to be.
But, there are certain things that single people would definitely like hearing. Things not related to their lack of a partner. At least when I was single, I wanted to hear people say these things for me.
1. How are you doing?
When you’re single and living alone, chances are you won’t be having someone to talk to about your day, at least not daily. There’s nobody waiting at home ready to be the willing recipient of your daily news–whether good or bad. It can get very empty. So, take some time out to check in on your single friends on the regular. They don’t expect you to text or call every single day but it would definitely be nice if you checked in on them at least once a week.
It’s especially helpful when your single friend is sick. Being sick when you’re alone sucks. It is the most depressing thing ever. Take them some soup. Have a little chit chat. It would go a long way towards making them feel better.
2. Congratulations!
I’m not kidding. Think about the last time you congratulated someone and the event you were celebrating did not have anything to do with getting engaged, married, or having babies. From the late 20s onwards, all we congratulate people for is relationship milestones. What happens to the person who is not in a relationship? They don’t receive as much love and goodwill as their partnered counterparts.
You can congratulate them about anything from the most obvious like a job promotion to the most mundane like taking care of a sick pet. A simple thought like, “So glad to see your cat is better. You took such great care of him” would make people’s day. In the end, all people want is an acknowledgement of their little struggles and achievements.
3. Why don’t you join us?
Not all single people hate kids. Some really like them but just haven’t gotten around to having one for whatever reasons. So, it would be nice if you checked in with your single pals when you’re having a party for your toddler. Parties for kids are also great bonding time for adults. Single people are adults too, just like the people with kids.
If you’re doing things and you’re all coupled up, invite your single friends and give them the liberty to bring their own +1. They could end up bringing a potential partner, another single friend, or their sister. People like being included in things their friends do. Don’t exclude them just for not having a partner.
In conclusion, single people are people–they want to feel loved, included, and celebrated. By the very nature of their singlehood, they don’t have a constant companion who is almost always around. So, it’s important to remember your single friends in the midst of your own busy lives.
