Infidelity is hard to get over. While that’s true, it’s easier to understand why it happened. While people who get into monogamous relationships try to resist temptations outside their relationship, some people tend to slip up. The reason in this case will be different for everyone. Two main reasons range from:
Partner-focused circumstances where someone cheats because of their relationship or partner. Say they feel they are constantly criticised, their partner is emotionally unavailable, sexually inadequate or unavailable in a general sense.
Personal-focused circumstances are when someone cheats because of general commitment and attachment issues. These people also fail to acquit loyalty with romance.
Although the circumstances have their own reasons, there are some which you should be able to work on and move forward from:
1. If your partner did not feel valued in the relationship
Infidelity is not and does not have to always be the end-all, be-all of a relationship–it could be a wake up call too. Betrayals don’t necessarily happen in a vacuum. As hard as it may be to accept in the first go, but it may be the fault of both the partners and not just one. If the reason to cheat wasn’t because the other person was hotter or sexier and was actually that the person who cheated didn’t feel valued in the relationship–you can sit down and fix it. Hence, these issues are to be addressed and not ignored if your partner cheated one-time.
2. They are remorseful and regret it
True remorse is a sign of hope and redemption. Remorse for the specific behavior and recognition of the damage that behavior did, is a sign of maturity and mindfulness. Followed by remorse and regret, the person also needs to show willingness to make amends, no matter how difficult.
If your partner is not seeking an immediate forgiveness there is hope for the relationship, where you get to take time to assess and they persevere with their efforts. If they don’t show remorse or regret, then they don’t deserve a second chance.
3. They are not secretive any longer
The fear of losing you and the regret of hurting you must make them more open towards you. If they close off and start hiding things again thinking you will act up on something, then there is actually something to hide till now. The rules of the games are simple–this is your chance to bare it all to your partner. After this if you hide anything or act secretive, then time to leave, buddy!
4. They accept professional help
The best way to deal with a situation that you did not have control yourself and have trouble living with the truth is to seek professional help. All thanks to the discourse around mental health in today’s times, a professional might help uncover the root cause behind the infidelity. Deep-seated pain and insecurities could be the reason and your partner needs to assure you that they are not scared of discovering that side of themselves.
Although temptations are not easy to overcome and a pattern hard to break, as long as your partner is willing to overcome it all for a trusting, monogamous partnership, you both still have hope.
