No, planning a country’s budget is not the stuff of Maggie noodles. But your attention span is! So if you want to know in a nutshell what you can expect from Finance Minister Arun Jaitley’s upcoming Union Budget 2014, then read on.
Common man goes crying to Arun Jaitley…
Arun Jaitley: What happened? Cut too many onions?
Common man: Stop $***ing around!
Arun Jaitley: What did you just say?
Common man: Listen, I just want to ask you a few questions, okay? What are you going to do about the rising food cost? I’ve not had kanda poha for weeks now. I’m forced to eat beans and sprouts. As a result I’ve become so gaseous that my colleagues have started calling me ‘Stinking Economy’.
Arun Jaitley: Two minutes…
Common man: Hello? I’m already grappling with the railway fare hike, and now I hear that even the cost of electricity is going up? Anyway, thanks to inflation, all I do over the weekend is eat pankhe ki hawa, and now you’re going to take that away from me too?
Arun Jaitley: Two minutes…
Common man: A”don’t”run Jaitley… what about currency depreciation? What about the issue of ‘black money’? Have you heard anything from the Swiss people? I heard they came to visit you? Did they get you Swiss cheese or Swiss chocolate?
Arun Jaitley: Two minutes…
Common man: Stop $***ing around with your two minutes… I have asked the same question to you on Twitter, Facebook and Google Hangouts… you never reply.
Arun Jaitley: My fellowman, that sign doesn’t mean two minutes. It means, NUMBER TWO. It means I know the economy is in dumps. I know the common man is in dumps. So, I’m not $***ing around… I’m actually right in the middle of it and trying to figure a way to get us all out of it… so have patience.
Common man: Okay, okay. Calm down.
Arun Jaitley: Thanks for understanding.
More On >> Money
