You do not know how it happened, but you find yourself dating an older man. He is not your ideal one or two years older guy, no siree! He is a good six to ten years older than you. While it is definitely a great feeling and you feel different like everyone does under the influence of love, the people around you have quite a lot to say. Your friends can’t seem to stop saying stupid things like “Are you two getting married?” and “We know it is an arranged marriage, you are just not sharing it with us!”. While your family believes you just sold your mind and sensibility to the devil and have gone berserk.
Once you’ve finally caught a break from all their emotions and concern, you accept that there are some realities of the relationship that you are just about coming to terms with. They are not major, nor bad–but they are definitely different from dating someone your age. Here are a few things that happen when you’re dating a much older guy:
1. You have amazing sex because they definitely have more experience
This is the one bonus you did not ask for, but are getting nonetheless. Your partner knows all the tricks and understands your body better than you. You are often left thinking they are as satisfied with you as you are with them. Because you completely lost yourself in that last session and forgot to immediately gratify.
2. You fake your maturity level to match theirs
We might be insecure or jealous but we rather not show this to our partners because they would never relate to such emotions. Or that is what we think. They always have the right things to say at the right time and you don’t fight them often. You even question if this perfect paradise is a facade because why aren’t you guys arguing about small things. While fights are great, these mature beings tend to solve the problem as and when it arises. So to not look stupid in front of your ideal man, you fake maturity, till your imbibe it naturally.
3. You don’t always have common things to talk about
This one is a real downer! Sitting at a restaurant, having discussed the day and the previous day and the day before that leaves you with little to nothing left to discuss. You are not at the same level emotionally, personally, and professionally, and there is so much the two of you can learn from each other. But it will happen eventually. So you wait around with conversation points that are just going to end up in dead-ended discussions and awkwardness. All we can say is embrace the silence and make it as romantic as possible.
4. Friend groups do not mingle, neither do the two of you in each other’s social circle
It is a dream to see both your friend groups mingle, drink together, and make merry. However, the only thing coming in the way is the all-so-real relatibility or the lack of it, thereof. It is not just these failed attempts at making your friends meet each other. It is also the awkward standing on one corner with a glass in hand when you accompany them for a get together with their friends. You just wish this night ended and you were back in your bed, but relationships make your do highly uncomfortable things. Like smiling and laughing, and conversing with someone you just called a “dadu” on your secret group chats with close friends.
5. They are settled which makes them great gifters
Another plus of dating that guy who brings a “hai tauba” to everyone else’s mouth is the fact that they are settled and financially stable. Very unlike you, but it is not always a silent taunt in your head, because they give you great gifts. They are super chivalrous and adhere to the 90s drama of getting gifts on dates. They don’t get you just flowers which will eventually wither because you never put them in a vase, and you love them for being smart that way!
