Who would have thought that not indulging in casual sex would be associated with a sense of shame? Have millennials really gone so far with their “cool” ways? Did I miss the memo? Steering clear of any judgment for those who do it, even though one-night stands are no big deal–they have always seemed like a bad idea to me. For me, getting intimate with someone without a long-term association or connection seems almost impossible, making it one of the primary reasons I’ve never given in.
Whenever I’ve revealed to people how I’ve never had a one night stand, they’ve more often than not, shot back with: “What?!!! Are you joking?”, or “Yeah, sure… don’t lie!” This has never failed to puzzle me. In fact, at times, they make it seem almost like I’m an outcast whom they can’t identify with–which makes me wonder if I need to change my ways and be more open to things, or even if I’m probably missing out on something so cool! However, I’ve always managed to battle these thoughts with: “Nope, I’m good!” Blame it on the romantic in me, but I just can’t seem to separate emotions from sex. If I do end up “hooking up” with someone, there’s a good chance I have a decent amount of liking for him. No, not necessarily the wedding bells kind of liking, but a genuine attraction, for sure!
I can very well see how some people see me as a prude for not wanting to experiment with casual sex, but I’ve made my peace with that. This weird shame and unwarranted stigma that is attached to this subject is bewildering for me. I don’t get the peer pressure that is increasingly surrounding this subject. I mean, I don’t call you out for indulging in it, so I don’t think it’s fair that I’m judged for not fancying it. The thing is, the term “one-night” itself is a dead giveaway of the fact that nothing solid can come out of it, and some of us (especially those who wear their hearts on their sleeves), deliberately stay away from it, because we don’t want to subject ourselves to something that could possibly end up hurting us. That would be plain stupid, right? Female sexuality can be complicated. Maybe that’s why women like me rather wait to get intimate with someone we’re in a relationship with and feel emotionally secure with. Guess what? That’s okay!
For those of you who are seeking a no-strings-attached sex-capade, I say go for it! For those of you who find yourselves unable to do so, don’t worry–tuck yourself in on a Saturday night and watch reruns of Sex And The City for the 300th time. You’re allowed to!
