The way mothers maintain good relations with everyone in their lives is no joking matter. From bitchy friends to backstabbing relatives to demanding children and everyone in the middle–she has a clear understanding of relationships she’s formed over the years, inclusive of all trials and errors. As described in the words of a mother: keeping good relations with someone doesn’t mean they are a part of your life. Here are a few essential things I learnt through my mother’s interactions with the world as I know it:
Any and all relationships are valuable
I now know what my mother means when she says that each and every relationship is valuable. She had a few regrets from her childhood of letting friends go and not making better relationships with acquaintances. This she made up for in her adulthood. She not only keeps in touch with people–she is also their go-to person. Her circle is not limited to her friends and relatives, she is on great terms with all her children’s friends. She is closer to my father’s side of the relatives than even he is.
Being rude will affect your karma
It is not a possibility that you have never been let down by your relatives. They may have ignored you, might have gone behind your back, and even double-crossed you. But, one thing my mother has never done, and would never do, is be rude to someone. She might not like them and even be cautious of them, but she can never make someone feel bad consciously. Maybe she understands what being hurt means and makes an effort to not put someone through that. She also ensures that I don’t foster hate towards anyone who has done wrong to me or us as a family. But, a little secret–I think she waits for karma to do their job while being a silent spectator.
They are going to be helpful one day
It has never been that my mother has asked someone for help and they have denied it. It is not a miracle to be in the good books of someone. It is her own effort to be good to people and be there for them in bad times that has paid off. The farsightedness of a mother can tell if the person will be of help 10 years later, and those relatives actually stand up to the occasion. It is like watching a magic show, she literally produces bunnies out of hats with her kindness.
You need people around you
I don’t know when I realised this for myself, but she despises it when I cut off people from my life. She doesn’t see why someone has to leave, because the more the merrier. You are different with each person and the diversity of interactions you hold is the key to a well-rounded personality. She is never too rigid to not fit in with people half her age, and she is not juvenile to not be able to mingle with people above her age. She is truly a friend to even our late grandmother’s friends until now, and I learn from her every day. Having a birthday party for one doesn’t sound thrilling anyway!
