Can you really, truly be friends with your ex? This one question has the whole world divided. You might be in a happy relationship with someone, yet the mention of this question brings up a thousand emotions. Exes are, and always will be, a problematic realm to venture into. They bring back memories that you had long forgotten, feelings that were submerged in the background, and leave you longing for a time gone by. That’s precisely the reason why no one has an answer to this question. It almost always depends on the situation.
After listening to each and every one of our friends crying their hearts out after a breakup, we realised that not all exes are the same. In some cases, even accidentally bumping into an ex seems like impending doom. But then there are a few golden exes who just make being friends seem like a walk in the park. They’re mature, understanding, and ever-so-sensitive–even when the sex and constant conversations have ended.
If you’re in the middle of trying to figure out if that one ex can be your friend, here are a few things to keep in mind:
You DEFINITELY should not be friends if any of the following things happened:
a) He cheated on you
Mission abort my friend! If he’s done it once, he’ll do it again and you’re going to feel bad about it. Even if it doesn’t directly involve you. It just signifies a bad attitude.
b) If he disrespected you
This is another one of those character flaws that doesn’t just go away with the tag of friendship.
c) If he disregarded your opinion and your freedom
He’s going to try and control you even when you guys are friends and quite honestly, you don’t need that negativity in your life
d) If there was violence in the past
If your fights went to the point of violence, that’s literally the end of the road. DO NOT ENTER, again! Controlling his temper is not your job.
In the following situations, you can actually consider having him around. In a platonic friendly way!
a) If long-distance ended your relationship
No one is at fault. Life called and you had to answer. In this case, reconnecting, even as friends is one of the most natural things to do.
b) If you both fell out of love
The relationship ran its course, you guys had fun–but it ended. Both sides were okay with it and moved on. There are no hard feelings and it comes with a side of friendship!
c) You were friends before you began dating and realised you were incompatible
You both came to a mature understanding that hum dost hi ache the! There were no fights–it was just incompatibility at its finest. So going back to the starting point after the delay is easy.
d) A lot of time has passed since the breakup
It’s been a good eight years since you broke up with the said partner. Enough water has flown under the bridge and you’ve maintained a tight ship throughout. Time heals a lot of old wounds thereby letting you start afresh with the same person.
