Dear Survivor,
Moving on is difficult and I completely get it. American researcher Steve Maraboli had once said: “The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” Makes sense right? The fact of the matter is that sooner or later we have all got to let go of our past just to make our future better. With all the chaos from the past in your mind, you are only allowing the pain to fester. What is meant to stay will stay, no matter what. Similarly, what’s meant to happen will happen.
In the process of letting go of your past, you will realise you are losing out on a whole lot of things, only to eventually find yourself. Taking that big leap forward without any pain or grudges isn’t an easy task. But only you can do it without looking back to what’s broken and what’s gone. Forgetting the past will only make you stronger for the future. If she was your first love, it’ll take longer perhaps. But it will fade away–the memories and the pain, that much I promise you. Being adamant about not moving on with your life will only make it worse for you. Sitting in a corner and sulking over someone who is never going to return is doing you more damage than you think. So stop playing ‘Channa Mereya’ on loop, and let go!
Gone are the Devdas days, where you could wait all your life for someone. Let go of the grudge, the disappointment, insecurities, self-doubts, and be a new man with a more positive outlook. Maybe, this didn’t work out because there’s something better in store for you. Maybe, you deserve someone a lot better than someone who just left. Because there’s always something left to love. Learn to forgive for your own good and peace of mind. Until and unless you forgive and forget, you will never be able to move ahead in life. You will be clinging so hard to those grudges that they just won’t let you move forward.
If you were the undoing of that relationship, learn from your mistakes. Pledge to not repeat them in your next relationship. Own up to your them. But just because you made a mistake, doesn’t mean you absolutely shut down your emotions and vow to never love again. Let’s be very honest: the concept of loving someone and setting them free, only to see if they come back to you is flawed. Bollywood might have been emphasizing on “Ek tarfa pyar ki taqat”, but that’s just toxic BS.
Bottom line: you can’t force someone to love you because love is an emotion that needs spontaneity. If you must take Bollywood’s word for it, remember this: “Mohabbat karna humare bas mein nahi hai… uss mohabbat se dur chale jaana..woh humare bas mein.” This WILL make your life easier and somebody else’s too.
Sincerely,
Your well-wisher…
