Dear Mom,
I’d like to skip the flowery talk and get straight to the point – Life without you has been difficult, to say the least. When I packed my bags and left our city to go to college, I was filled with excitement. I was dreaming about a life where I would make all my own decisions, not have a deadline that required me to leave parties early, not have anyone to tell me to clean my cupboard or not to order junk food so often. However, life is never quite what you expect it to be and the difference between what I had imagined and reality was the much-need slap that got me off my high horse. The “harsh world” that you told me about, came at me like an ex-boyfriend I had dumped – aiming to disrupt my world and burst my bubble. Little did I know that I’d need you 8 out of 10 times in the day. I missed the nagging, I missed the questioning, I missed the advice, I missed you.
I know I’ve told you this a zillion times, but once again, I’d like to let you know about some of the moments in which I desperately needed you. Try not to get too teary eyed…
1. When I got sick for the first time after I left
I had always heard about how you need your mom the most when you’re ill, but I never cared to dive deep into that thought. You were always by my side and I guess I took that for granted. The first time I fell sick in college, I was burning with fever and was bedridden for a good 2 days. At that point, there was nothing more I wanted than your comforting voice telling me to cut out the “drama” and be the fighter that I am. I missed your home cooked meals that were served with a huge dollop of love on the side, and your endless pampering that enabled me to get everything served to me, without having to move a finger.
2. When I fought with my best friend
I’ve always preferred to have one really close friend, instead of a whole clique. And while that has its pros, it also has its cons. When you fight with that one friend, there’s no one you can fall back on, and you end up feeling isolated and lonely… until you makeup, of course! I remember when I fought with my best friend in college, I stayed up all night, missing you terribly, and aching to have you beside me; so that I could vent and voice all that was bothering me. I realised then, that you, are my real best friend, Ma. One that will stick around no matter how hard things get or how unreasonable I am.
3. When I attempted to cook
Turns out, adulting isn’t as fun as it seems to young teenagers who think they know it all! The first time I tried my hand at cooking, I ended up with a kitchen that looked like it had been hurricane struck, a deeply cut finger and no final product that I could devour. In that moment, I recalled all the times I was so ungrateful and didn’t value the food you lovingly cooked and laid out on the table.
4. When I aced an exam but had no cheerleader
I remember scoring an A on a test that I was so anxious about. However, those results didn’t seem to make me as happy as I usually would’ve been. When I thought about why, I figured, that it was because my biggest and loyal cheerleader wasn’t with me to share that moment. I know we celebrated over the phone, but nothing compares to having you beside me, in person.
