My best friend was always the most unpredictable one in our friend circle, so when she broke the news that she’d decided to get married, it was received rather well… with a small side of the usual “Are you kidding?” and “Are you sure you’re ready?” And everything happened so soon, we barely had time to process it as a group, and before we knew it – boom! She was the first out of the lot, married, “settled” and semi-alienated. Now don’t get me wrong, she and our friends shared an adoring bond, but for some strange reason, now that she was the only one in the group who was married, the others felt the need to take a few steps back.
Whether it was to give her “space” now that she had entered a “new zone” in her life, or whether it was because they thought she’d be stuck in the kitchen rolling rotis with no time left to spare, they treated her like someone who had acquired an infectious disease. They treated her like if they got closer, they’d probably get it too, so they maintained the affection, just from afar. I, on the other hand, had a clear view of both sides.
This continued for a while, before she broke the second life altering news.“Guys, I’m married but nothing has changed. I’m the same person, who can do the same things and hang out with you guys just the way we used to,” she said, as we all stared at her, amused and bewildered. She called this ‘meeting’ after a deep analysis of the situation (and a conversation with me, of course), and had noted some crazy assumptions our friends were making, now that she had crossed over to the “other side.” Here are the four assumptions which were truly crazy. Here they are in my friend’s words:
1. Married friends can’t be invited to sleepovers because… uh, they’re MARRIED and can’t sleep at someone else’s home – Guys; I’m married, not kidnapped and under house arrest.
2. If I’m not making rotis at the speed of 15 pieces per minute, I’m having all the sex because, well, I have the licence to and I now live with a man. If anything, sex only slows down post marriage. And no! I’m not making rotis and being tortured by my in-laws… I don’t even know how to make a roti!
3. Married women need to be on their best behaviour around their husbands, which means no lewd humour or bitchy jokes in front of him when your girlfriends are around. Quit the warning eyes and signalling each other to tone it down around us, guys! We’re still the same and probably crack even worse jokes around each other. I married a good, fun-loving man! Please act normal around us.
4. I can’t be part of the girl-gang’s trip abroad because (no prizes for guessing) wife duties! Getting married doesn’t mean you lose your identity. I’m still an individual before being the better half of another person. I can still travel, go out for a drink or spend time with my family when I desire
Do you relate to this story? What is the one thing your friends keep assuming to be true, now that you’re married? Let us know in the comments below…
