Relationships have always been one of those things that you really want when you’re single, and then kind of not want it when you’re in one. There are so many expectations to deal with and promises to fulfill that it can legit feel like you’re stuck in a dabba.
No, we aren’t bashing relationships here–they have their own fun, but it also means moulding yourself in certain aspects to keep it going. That doesn’t mean that you’re changing yourself for someone else–it mainly means you are willing to do what you gotta do for the one you love. It could be a quality you yourself have a problem with or just being more patient as a person–you’re willing to make it work despite your zero-tolerance to untidiness.
Since every relationship teaches you something about yourself, we asked Team iDiva about the biggest relationship challenge they overcame.
1. Stuti Bhattacharya
It took awhile for me to be trusting enough with my boyfriend’s words of love and endearment. Since I met him online and due to my past relationships, it was tough for me to believe whatever he was telling me was actually true and not a figment of my imagination. I became more trusting of myself in the process
2. Meghna Kriplani
During argument, I would often yell at him instead of going through the process of constructive conversation. As a result, he would shut down while I remained confrontational. Once we communicated the elephant in the room, we realized how to work it out instead of having an unnecessary outburst.
3. Ambika Muttoo
Getting to a space where we both can have a mature discussion sans the blame game that we naturally tend to do as people. It was really constructive because we both realized that we are adults, and we need to address the hurt we’ve both felt. It took some time but it was liberating.
4. Akanksha Sharad
Realizing that everything doesn’t always match up to the way I imagined it and it’s still okay was a very cathartic step. Everything seemed more perfect without the perfection anyway! Love isn’t always perfect, but it’s still love.
5. Shawali Gupta
The biggest challenge I’ve faced in my relationship is letting go of my ego especially after a fight. There are times when you’re so sure of your side that you barely give the other person the space to explain their logic–which bars any sort of communication. Getting over that has really helped me in a lot of ways.
6. Shivani Chatterjee
I have been in a long-distance relationship for a while now, and I think being able to give my partner the space is definitely a big thing for me. A lot of my past relationships have taught me the importance of not needing to know every tiny detail–it’s unhealthy sometimes.
7. Kusha Kapila
For me, getting over my ego and being able to take constructive criticism has been a huge challenge. I tend to shut down after an argument which can hinder the other person in discerning my feelings, and that can become toxic–especially when you’ve taken the personal responsibility of embodying a Britney Spears song.
8. Dolly Singh
To be as open without fearing being judged. I tend to not be able to talk about myself, always worried that the other person might not get it. I think getting the acceptance that I have craved has made me more confident of my own craziness. Everyone is, aren’t they?
9. Aaron Koul
It took a while and a couple of relationships to realize that not everyone loves in the same way that you expect them to. Their efforts are the biggest efforts they’re making, their sacrifices are their biggest sacrifices–everyone loves in the capacity they can and faulting them because they don’t match your pattern of love is not just incorrect–it’s the road to unhealthiness.
10. Srijoni Roy
I think understanding that another person is acting a certain way because of the circumstances they’re in, exclusive of you, in their life is a very hard pill to swallow. We often tend to think his anger maybe because of me or something I’ve done or vice versa; but giving them the space to come and speak to you on their own terms is a big lesson to take away.
